You’ve worked hard. Are you letting yourself enjoy it?
Hello Friends! 🧡
With fall here, I’ve been thinking about harvest. We usually associate it with gardens and orchards, but what about the harvest in our own lives? Do we recognize it when it’s here—or are we already thinking about what needs doing next?
We spend years working, raising families, showing up for people we love, and figuring things out along the way. And sometimes, we could use a little reminder to pause and say, “Look at what’s grown.” 🌾
If you’ve joined me for one of my gatherings, you may remember that I talk about the different seasons we can experience in midlife and beyond: expansion, holding, recalibration, and harvest. Harvest is our opportunity to enjoy the fruits of what we’ve cultivated over the years. And it can show up in all sorts of ways.
Maybe you’re settling into retirement after decades of work, or watching your adult children find their way. Perhaps you have a little more financial breathing room, or friendships that have grown deeper through everything you’ve shared.
Some of the harvest might be less obvious, but just as meaningful. Have you noticed that you trust your own judgment more than you used to? That you can say no without quite so much explaining? Or that you’re becoming more comfortable with who you are, even if everyone doesn’t understand your choices?
That’s growth worth recognizing, too. It may have taken years to get here. Are you giving yourself a chance to appreciate it?
What helped this harvest grow?
If you’ve ever tended a garden, you know there’s usually a lot that happens before you get to enjoy the harvest. There’s watering, pruning, waiting—and sometimes wondering whether anything is growing at all.
When you look at your own life, what helped you get to where you are today? Maybe you made a difficult decision, asked for help, or let go of something that no longer fit. You’ve probably learned a few things through experiences you never would have chosen, too.
Of course, some things haven’t grown the way you hoped, and others may still be taking root. You can make room for those feelings while appreciating what has grown.
And who helped along the way? Perhaps someone encouraged you when you doubted yourself, taught you something you still carry, or gave you room to figure things out. Part of enjoying our harvest is remembering that we’ve had a hand in growing it—and that others have, too.
Savoring takes intention
You’d think enjoying the harvest would be the easy part, wouldn’t you? But when we’re used to being useful, responsible, and productive, slowing down to enjoy it can take some practice.
At my last gathering, I asked how many women usually take care of everyone else first. Nearly every woman stood. I’ve been thinking about that ever since. Maybe you would have stood, too.
When we’re so accustomed to tending to everyone else’s needs, it’s easy to put our own enjoyment on hold. There’s always someone to help, something to finish, or one more thing we think we should do before we can relax.
How do we decide when we’ve done enough for today?
And even when we do pause to enjoy our harvest, guilt may pull up a chair. 🪑
“Is it selfish to spend this time on myself?”
“How can I enjoy this when someone I love is struggling?”
“Shouldn’t I be doing something more useful?”
If any of that sounds familiar, you’re certainly in good company. After years of putting others first, taking time for ourselves can feel like we’re overlooking something—or letting someone down. But feeling guilty doesn’t necessarily mean we’ve done anything wrong. We may simply be getting used to giving our own needs and enjoyment a place, too.
We can care deeply about others and still enjoy what’s good in our own lives. We don’t have to wait until everyone is okay or every task is finished.
That doesn’t mean the guilt will immediately disappear. But we can notice it, question what it’s telling us, and consider whether we want it making the decision.
This is where a shift in mindset can help us receive the fruits of our efforts—and allow them to count.
“I should be doing more” might become “I can appreciate what I’ve already done.”
“It wasn’t that big a deal” might become “That took care and persistence, and I’m proud of it.”
“I’ll enjoy this once everyone else is taken care of” might become “My enjoyment deserves a place in my life, too.”
We can start small: accept a compliment with a simple thank-you, celebrate without downplaying it, or enjoy a quiet morning without turning it into another opportunity to get something done.
What might that look like for you?
Perhaps that’s what enjoying our harvest comes down to: noticing what we’re grateful for and giving ourselves time to enjoy it.
And you don’t have to be in a harvest season in every part of your life. You might be figuring out what comes next in one area while enjoying something you’ve nurtured in another. Both can be true. You can be carrying something difficult and still have moments worth savoring.
So, I invite you to pause and consider:
🍎Where am I seeing the fruits of my efforts?
🪴What helped them grow—and who helped along the way?
☺️Am I allowing myself to enjoy what’s here?
👩🏻🌾What do I want to keep cultivating?
Maybe this week you spend time with a friend whose company feels like coming home. Notice how much more confidently you handle something that once felt difficult. Or enjoy a slow morning without feeling you need to justify it.
There’s no assignment here—just an invitation to notice when an opportunity to savor comes along.
Before rushing toward the next thing, give yourself a moment to appreciate what you’ve cultivated and allow yourself to enjoy it.
THIS & THAT
Let’s keep this harvest theme going—with a few simple ways to enjoy and share what’s good.
Enjoy the good things you’ve been saving
Do you have special dishes that rarely leave the cupboard? A favorite candle you haven’t lit? A lovely scarf waiting for just the right occasion?
Sometimes we get so accustomed to saving things for “someday” that we forget we can enjoy them now. An ordinary Tuesday counts as an occasion, too.
What have you been saving that you could enjoy this week?
Share a little of your harvest
This time of year puts me in a baking mood. One of my favorites to make—and share—is pumpkin chocolate chip drop cookies. Part of the pleasure is passing along a little homemade goodness, just because. Sharing can get us out of our own heads for a moment and remind us how good it feels to connect with someone else.
And if this is a season when you need to receive more than give, there’s room for that, too.
If sharing sounds enjoyable, here are a few ideas:
🏵️Drop off a few cookies with a friend or neighbor. No special occasion required.
🏵️Add a few needed items to your grocery cart for a local food pantry.
🏵️Invite a couple of friends for a casual “harvest swap”—extra garden produce, homemade treats, crafts, or plant cuttings. Keep it easy; no elaborate hosting needed.
And if someone offers you a little of their harvest? A simple “Thank you—I’d love that” is enough.
A little gratitude for our recent gathering
Twenty-eight women joined me for In This Season: Shining Through the Shadow of Loss, including several attending for the first time. In the gathered reflections, many mentioned how much they valued hearing one another’s stories, talking around the tables, and creating their Joy Lists. Thank you to everyone who came and helped make the afternoon so meaningful.
One thought from our time together fits this season of harvest, too: we can miss what’s no longer here and still allow ourselves to enjoy what is.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Before you move on with your day, pause to notice something in your life that you once hoped for, worked toward, or patiently nurtured. Maybe it’s a relationship, a little more freedom, or a trust in yourself that took years to grow.
Let it count. You don’t have to minimize it or immediately turn your attention to what still needs doing. There will always be more to tend to.
This week, give yourself a moment to savor your harvest. Enjoy what’s here—even if other parts of life are still unfolding. You’re allowed to enjoy the harvest along the way.
Happy harvesting!
Judy
jUDY ROONEY, MSW
Mindset | Habits | Well-being Coaching
Once Upon A Habit
onceuponahabit.com
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