Learning to Enjoy Relaxation (Yes, Really)
Happy Spring Friends!
As I was reading my devotional the other morning, a single line stopped me:
“Remind me to enjoy relaxation.”
Wait… enjoy it? 🤔
Not just do it. Not just fit it in. But actually enjoy it.
Because if I’m honest, relaxation doesn’t always feel enjoyable.
It often comes with a quiet layer of guilt.
When I really need rest, I can settle into it.
But when I sense I should take a break, there’s often a hushed voice in the background—reminding me of everything I could be doing instead. A to-do list waiting. A responsibility nudging. A subtle belief that I’ve only earned a limited amount of rest.
For many women in the second half of life, relaxation isn’t the challenge—it’s feeling okay about it.
Can you relate? 🙋🏼♀️
After decades of caring, building, organizing, and showing up, stillness can feel unfamiliar… even undeserved. Somewhere along the way, we learned how to stay in motion—but not always how to truly relax.
Even our “rest” tends to be active—folding laundry while watching TV, quilting, tending the garden, baking, or working on a project. These moments can be calming, even meaningful, but they’re still a form of doing.
So, when we’re invited to simply be still—no output, no purpose, no productivity—it can feel uncomfortable.
Unfamiliar.
Which led me to take a closer look at relaxation itself.
At its core, relaxation is a physiological state—not just an activity. It’s what researchers call the relaxation response—the body’s natural counterbalance to stress.
When you’re truly relaxed, your body shifts into a “rest and digest” state:
- slower heart rate
- lower blood pressure
- reduced muscle tension
- slower breathing
Which means this:
Relaxation isn’t defined by what you’re doing…
but by what your body is experiencing.
You can be sitting on the couch and feel mentally activated, restless, or scrolling—and not actually relaxed.
Or you can be walking, gardening, or baking and feel steady, absorbed, and calm.
Relaxation can be:
- Passive → stillness, quiet rest
- Active → gentle, absorbing activity that settles the mind
And maybe this is where a small—but meaningful—mindset shift comes in. 🤯
For many of us, the discomfort isn’t just about being still.
It’s about what we’ve learned to believe about rest.
That it must be earned.
That productivity equals worth.
So when the body slows down… the mind resists.
It questions. It nudges. It fills the space with “shoulds.”
But what if relaxation isn’t a reward… but a requirement?
Not an indulgence… but a form of care?
Not wasted time… but necessary space to reset and return to yourself?
Enjoying relaxation might not come naturally at first—because you’re not just changing a habit…
you’re unwinding a belief.
And that takes practice.
This is where the art of relaxation begins. 👩🏼🎨
It’s less about finding the “right” way to relax, and more about learning to listen differently.
Some days, your body may need stillness—an afternoon with no agenda.
Other days, it may restore through gentle movement—hands in the soil, a slow walk, a familiar rhythm in the kitchen.
The question becomes:
What do I need today?
Not what you should do.
Not what you’ve earned.
But what actually restores you.
What restores you in one season may not restore you in another.
And that’s not a problem to solve… it’s wisdom to follow.
For many of us, it’s easier to access this kind of rest on vacation—when we’re removed from our responsibilities, environment, and routines. But perhaps the invitation is to begin creating small pockets of that same permission within our everyday lives.
To sit without guilt.
To move without urgency.
To rest without needing to justify it.
And to gently practice… enjoying it. ☺️
A Few Gentle Questions to Explore Your Own Rhythm of Rest:
- When do I feel most restored—after being still, or after gentle activity?
- What kind of relaxation feels most natural to me right now? Am I enjoying it?
- How does my current season influence what I need in terms of rest?
- Where might I be forcing a version of relaxation that doesn’t actually restore me?
- What would it look like to give myself permission to rest in a way that fits this season of my life?
"Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is relax." — Mark Black
THIS & THAT
Who knew that humble box of baking soda sitting in your pantry could be such a powerhouse? From freshening up forgotten corners to tackling everyday household headaches in surprisingly simple ways, this little staple does far more than help your cookies rise. If you love a good life hack (especially the kind that saves time, money, and effort), you’ll want to take a peek at these clever, unexpected uses—you might never look at baking soda the same way again. (Yes, I went and bought a BIG box after reading this.)
It’s one of those topics that quietly affects so many women—yet rarely makes it into everyday conversation. Lately, I’ve been hearing more about pelvic floor health and realizing just how common (and misunderstood) issues like leakage, discomfort, or core weakness really are. This recent piece from NPR Life Kit features a pelvic floor physical therapist who breaks it all down in a way that’s both informative and empowering—covering symptoms of pelvic floor dysfunction and simple, practical exercises to help. If this is something you’ve ever wondered about (or maybe brushed off), it’s well worth a listen/read—because understanding your body is a powerful form of self-care.
This topic will also be presented at the GLOW Summit, May 15th, by our local Pelvic Health Specialist, Dr. Tara Kazemfar, PT, DPT, PRPC. Mark your calendar and buy your tickets now.
Mark your calendar—you won’t want to miss this one.
My next In This Season gathering is happening on June 3rd, from 3:00–5:30 PM at Basalt Cellars, and we’ll be exploring what it truly means to come home to yourself. In the midst of full schedules and constant demands, this is your invitation to pause… to breathe… and to gently turn inward.
This gathering is a space for reflection, connection, and meaningful conversation with other women who understand this season of life. You’re welcome to share openly or simply listen and take it all in—there’s no pressure, just presence. Save the date now so you don’t miss this opportunity to reconnect with yourself (and others) in a supportive, welcoming circle.
FINAL THOUGHTS
As you move through the days ahead, consider this your gentle reminder: you don’t have to earn your rest, fix everything at once, or have it all figured out. Sometimes the most meaningful shifts begin in the quiet moments—the ones where you pause, listen, and choose yourself in small, steady ways.
Whether it’s giving yourself permission to relax, tending to your well-being in ways you may have overlooked, or simply becoming more aware of what your body and mind are asking for… it all counts. It matters. You matter.
So take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and move forward with a little more intention and a lot more self-compassion. And if you’re craving a space to slow down and reconnect, I’d love to see you at our next gathering—there’s a seat waiting for you.
Be well, and take gentle care,
Judy
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