September, a fresh start doesn’t have to be big.
Hello Friends! 🌻
With the cooler mornings and evenings, and the day temps still warmer than sweater weather, I’m reminded of the gap between expectation and reality. Although it’s September, it’s still officially summer (for another 10 days) —and we’re riding the cusp of a new season.
That gap feels a little like how we imagine midlife and beyond will be. We have expectations about what we might accomplish, the things we’ll enjoy, and how we’ll spend our time. We may even have a picture in our minds of what we want our lives to look like from the outside.
But how do we want to feel when we wake up on a Tuesday morning?
Do we want spaciousness? Connection? Purpose? Adventure? Peace? Creativity? Laughter?
A sense that our days actually belong to us?
I wonder how many of us have thought about who we want to become in this season.
We’ve spent so much of our lives becoming things—becoming a spouse, a worker, a parent, a caregiver, a volunteer, a leader, a grandparent, a provider, a protector.
But who did we imagine we would become underneath all those roles?
Even when we’re still in many of those roles, they can begin to change in midlife and beyond. We may not be needed in quite the same way, seen in quite the same way, or consulted as we once were.
There can be a gap between what we expected and what is actually happening.
And that gap can leave us feeling lost, uncertain about where we belong, or questioning our purpose and what brings us meaning.
As women, many of us have been taught—explicitly or implicitly—that our role is to be the family maker, the one who holds things together. So, what happens when our family begins to take on a life of its own that doesn’t quite fit our expectations?
This is what makes this chapter so interesting and complex, right?
At my recent In This Season: The Chapter I Never Imagined gathering, we talked about how our lives have unfolded in ways we never could have planned—or imagined. The challenges, the surprises, the losses, and the wonderful things can all throw us off balance from what we expected.
And perhaps part of navigating this season is simply making room for that reality.
Making room to notice what we’re feeling—the good, the bad, and the ugly—without judging ourselves for it.
Giving ourselves grace and time to adjust to what is different than we imagined. Sometimes that means grieving what we thought this chapter would be, even while appreciating what it is.
And then, when we’re ready, become curious.
What might you want to explore? What have you set aside that you might now have room to revisit? What small experiment could you try simply to see how it feels?
We may not have chosen all of the circumstances of this chapter. But we can remain curious about what they might teach us about ourselves.
Maybe this is also an opportunity to look at some of the stories we’ve carried about our worth, our productivity, and what makes a life meaningful.
September has always felt like an invitation to begin again—not necessarily to reinvent ourselves, but to pay attention.
What is this season asking of you?
What do you want to make a little more room for?
And perhaps most importantly…
Who are you becoming now?
THIS & THAT
Something I’ve been thinking about…
Lately, I've been thinking about how much collective stress we’re carrying. There is so much happening around us—and so much that can leave us feeling divided, discouraged, or simply tired.
And when we’re feeling uncertain or afraid, it can affect the way we see things. Fear is protective, but it can also be disorienting. It can narrow our perspective, make us reach for certainty, and sometimes make the differences between “us” and “them” feel bigger than they really are.
I recently listened to John A. Powell talk about “bridging”—the idea that we can learn to stay connected across our differences rather than retreating into our separate corners.
It isn't a political conversation as much as it is a human one. How do we remain curious about people who see the world differently? How do we resist the urge to divide the world into “us” and “them”? And how do we create more belonging in a time when it can feel like there is so much pulling us apart?
I found myself thinking about these questions long after the video ended.
If you have 20 minutes, give it a listen. You might find something in it that stays with you, too.
How to Create a Future Where Everyone Belongs — John A. Powell
⭐ Gold Star Behavior
Remember getting a gold star in school?
September seems like a good time to bring them back—not for getting the right answer or checking all the boxes, but for giving ourselves a little credit for the things that matter.
A few things that deserve a gold star this week…
⭐ Getting outside even when I didn't feel like it.
⭐ Finally making that appointment I've been putting off.
⭐ Saying “no” without a 10-minute explanation.
⭐ Giving yourself some grace when life doesn't go according to plan
⭐ Calling a friend instead of just thinking, I really should call her.
⭐ Going to bed instead of scrolling for another hour.
What gets a gold star in your life this week?
The Next Gathering:
IN THIS SEASON; SHINING THROUGH THE SHADOW OF LOSS
Because loss is part of every life—but it doesn’t always look the way we expect it to.
In midlife and beyond, loss can mean losing someone we love. But it can also mean changing health, retirement, an empty nest, shifting relationships, caregiving, or letting go of a life we once imagined we’d have.
We may not always recognize how these losses affect how we function, how we see ourselves, and how we show up in our lives. We can feel out of sync, lost at times, or uncertain about what comes next, wondering, “What now?” or “How do I move forward?”
This gathering will be a little different.
We’ll make space to acknowledge the losses that have shaped us, while also exploring how grief and gratitude, sadness and joy, can exist alongside one another.
We’ll talk about noticing moments of light—even in seasons that feel heavy—and we’ll create our own Joy List as a way of noticing and intentionally making room for what brings us joy.
Because loss may shape our story…
but it doesn’t have to define the story.
I hope you’ll join me and others for this conversation!
🗓️October 7th
⏰3:00 – 5:30 p.m.
📍Basalt Cellars | 906 Port Dr. | Clarkston
To save your seat, Click Here!
Mark your calendars now.
FINAL THOUGHTS
There’s something about September that makes us look ahead.
A new season. A new rhythm. Perhaps even a desire for a fresh start.
And sometimes, when we look, we notice the gap between the life we imagined and the life we’re actually living.
That gap doesn't have to be a problem to solve. It can be an invitation to pay a little closer attention.
To what feels good.
To what feels heavy.
To what we miss.
To what we’re curious about.
To what we’re ready to make room for.
Maybe there’s something you’ve been thinking about trying. Something you’re curious about. Something that has sparked your interest—or simply something that makes you think, “Why not?”
You don't have to make a big, bold move.
Take a small step. Try something different. Put yourself out there. Follow your curiosity and see what happens.
You never know what might spark something new—and one small step can create a little momentum for the next one.
Here’s to September: a fresh start, a little curiosity, and taking that first step.
To your well-being,
Judy
jUDY ROONEY, MSW
Mindset | Habits | Well-being Coaching
Once Upon A Habit
onceuponahabit.com
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